GAZZETTA DE LA REVISTA DE LA LIGA *APOLOGIES JAMES RICHARDSON

IT’S REVISTA DE LA LIGA’S TRADITIONAL POST WEEKEND SUMMARY. 22 GOALS, HEAPS OF FUN, CONTROVERSY, PENALTIES SCORED, PENALTIES MISSED, A SHOCK LIGA LEADER, CHAMPIONS PRETTY PUGNACIOUS, UNLUCKY ELCHE, TWO SMASHING-LOOKING MÁLAGA PLAYERS. FUN FUN FUN. PLEASE JOIN US - SOCIO STATUS MEANS YOU GET ALL OUR CONTENT. £3.50 PER MONTH OR £30 FOR A YEAR.

HERE’S THE TRANSCRIPT IN CASE YOU PREFER TO READ THAN LISTEN.

THIS IS A WEE REINTRODUCTION OF GAZZETTA DE LA LIGA - A REVISTA OF THE WEEKEND’S ACTION WHERE WE SAW A MEASLY 22 GOALS ACROSS TEN GAMES, RED CARDS, PENALTIES SCORED AND MISSED, MORE SCOTTISH MAGIC FOR SEVILLA, THE RUMBLING OF HOOVES FROM REAL MADRID, SWAGGER AND SENSATIONAL MOMENTS FROM THE CHAMPIONS AND, AFTER ALL THAT, SEVILLA SIT AT THE TOP OF THE TABLE. FOR THE MOMENT.

IT’S REVISTA - YOU’RE VERY WELCOME- THIS WILL BE THE ONE SECTION IN OUR SPANISH FOOTBALL LOVE-IN WHICH’LL BE FREE TO VIEW. BUT, I URGE YOU, SPEND YOUR THREE AND A HALF QUID A MONTH OR THIRTY QUID FOR A CALENDAR YEAR TO BECOME A FULL SOCIO AND JOIN PEDRO JENSON, ME AND JAMIE MR LA LIGA TV EASTON - IT’S A HAPPY FAMILY AND WE’LL HAVE SOME FUN.

ON WITH THE SHOW.

ATLETI 2-2 VILLARREAL

PUBILL, GIULIANO SIMEONE - GER MORENO, MIKAUTADZE

LE NORMAND SENT OFF FOR THE SECOND PENALTY.

LET’S START WITH THE HOME SIDE. NOT A PARTICULARLY CONVINCING FIRST COUPLE OF MATCHES - SAME OLD SAME OLD - BUT THE ISSUES RAISED BY THIS MATCH HAVE BEEN SOMEWHAT SUBMERGED BY THE SPIDER’S WEB OF THE JULIAN ALVAREZ SITUATION

BOOED, WHISTLED AND JEERED, VICIOUSLY WHEN HIS FACE AND NAME CAME UP IN THE PRE-MATCH SQUAD LISTING….BROUGHT INTO THE MATCH IN THE 66TH MINUTE ……THE FACT THAT ATLETI WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO OBTAIN THEIR 2-2 WITH ONLY TEN MEN WAS A BIT OBSCURED BY WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

CHOLO BROKE A HABIT BY MOOCHING OFF DOWN THE TUNNEL INSTEAD OF HIS USUAL MANIC SPRINT ….MEANWHILE THE ATLETI SQUAD AMBLED OFF TO SAY ‘SORRY-THANKS’ TO THE ULTRA FANS BEHIND THE GOAL

BUT, JUST BEFORE EVERYONE HEADED OFF FOR HOMAGE A CLUB EMPLOYEE, ONE OF THE SENIOR COMMS GUYS, STROLLED OVER TO JULIAN AND TOLD/ORDERED HIM NOT TO TAKE PART …..TO LEAVE THE ‘GOOD GUYS’ TO SOAK UP FAN APPRECIATION.

AND SO THERE WAS THIS IMAGE WHICH LOOKED LIKE THE ARGENTINIAN SNUBBED THE FANS, CHOSE A REBELLIOUS GESTURE WHEN, IN FACT, IT WAS THE CLUB WHICH LEFT HIM WITH HIS ARSE HANGING STILL FURTHER OUT THE WINDOW.

POST MATCH THE GENERAL MANAGER/DOF - MATEU ALEMANY WAS PRETTY SNITTY WITH THE INTERVIEWER WHO ASKED ABOUT THE SITUATION AND SAID: ‘I REFER YOU TO WHAT CO-OWNER GIL MARIN SAID THE OTHER DAY…THAT’S THE CLUB’S POSITION, NOTHING’S CHANGED!” TRUE . DEFINITELYU TRUE… HMMM NOT SURE.…

IN THE PRESS ROOM IT WAS CLEAR THAT CHOLO HADN’T BEEN CONSULTED ABOUT THE ALVAREZ INJUNCTION - OR ABOUT HOW IT WOULD LOOK TO ALREADY ENRAGED FANS - AND I’D SAY THERE WERE SOME HARSH WORDS EXCHANGED BETWEEN COACH, CLUB EMPLOYEES AND EXECUTIVES LATER ON THAT NIGHT..

PUTTING OUT FIRE WITH GASOLINE AS DAVID BOWIE ONCE SANG.

IN FOOTBALL TERMS MARC PUBILL IS REALLY ONE OF THOSE IN THE ‘IT’S BEEN A HARD SUMMER’ GANG - A REFRAIN PICKED UP BY PABLO FORNALS AT BETIS, FERMIN LOPEZ …..AND PROBABLY FELT EQUALLY BY ROBIN LE NORMAND.

AT LEAST PUBILL WENT TO THE WORLD CUP - BUT HE GOT JUST OVER THREE MINUTES OF PLAYING TIME - AT THE END OF SPAIN 3-0 AUSTRIA WHEN HE CAME ON FOR LAPORTE.

I WATCHED HIM MOOCH AROUND THE PLACE, NEVER MOODY, BUT LOOKING LIKE THE TRADITIONAL GUY WHO DROPPED A TENNER AND FOUND A FIVER.

UMBILICALLY ATTACHED TO MARCOS LLORENTE AND I’LL NEVER FORGET THE ODD SIGHT OF THE TWO OF THEM PLAYING FOOTBALL-GOLF AT THE COTTON BOWL IN DALLAS - PRE TRAINING - AHEAD OF THE SEMI FINAL AGAINST FRANCE - WHERE HE AND LLORENTE WOULD START WITH A BALL EACH AT THE TOP OF THE STAND AND THEIR OBJECTIVE WAS TO GET DOWN TO PITCH LEVEL, WITHOUT KICKING THE BALL HARD, AND SLOT IT INTO THE PLAYER TUNNEL.

IT WAS LIKE PLAYING A PAR FIVE HOLE BUT ONLY USING A PUTTER.

ANYTHING TO BE ‘ON THE BALL’ FOR THESE TWO GUYS A BIT MORE THAN EITHER WERE ACTUALLY GETTING DURING MATCHES.

ANYHOO - TOUGH TIMES SET ASIDE PUBILL SCORED A PEACH OF A GOAL TO PUT ATLETI ONE-NIL UP

OTHER CONCLUSIONS INCLUDE: JAN OBLAK UNDERLINED THAT HE’S NOT THE MOST AGILE OF PENALTY-SAVING KEEPERS.

HE WAS JOE NOWHERE FOR EACH OF VILLARREAL’S ELEVEN METRE GOALS… THAT’S NOW ONLY SIXTEEN OUT OF 81 PENALTIES HE’S FACED THAT HAVEN’T GONE IN. HE’S FACED 23 WITHOUT SAVING ONE FOR ATLETI SINCE JANUARY 2022.

AND WHILST WE ARE ON KEEPERS …THE ONGOING MYSTERY OF WHY VILLARREAL RATE LUIZ JUNIOR AHEAD OF DIEGO CONDE, WHO THEY’VE LOANED TO BETIS, CONTINUES TO FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE HEAD-SCRATCHER. OR BUTT-SCRATCHER AS PETER GRIFFIN USED TO CALL OUT AT BASEBALL MATCHES IN FAMILY GUY.

THE BRAZILIAN LET IN A HOWLER, ONE YOU SHOULD SAVE 100 TIMES OUT OF 100 FOR ATLETI’S EQUALISER.

PS - ROBIN LE NORMAND MUST HAVE BEEN VERY WOUNDED THAT HIS MENTOR, LUIS DE LA FUENTE, LEFT HIM OUT OF THAT WORLD CUP SQUAD AND THERE’S MOST CERTAINLY ROOM AND TIME FOR HIM TO FIGHT HIS WAY BACK INTO THE NATIONS LEAGUE SQUAD BUT THE MAD PENALTY HE CONCEDED AND, NOW, HIS SUSPENSION AHEAD OF SPAIN’S FIRST LIST FOR GAMES AGAINST CROATIA, ENGLAND AND CZECHIA BEING ANNOUNCED NEXT MONTH, AIN’T GONNA HELP OLD BEAN.

ELCHE 0-5 BARCELONA

FERMÍN 2, RAPHINHA 2, ADEYEMI

FOOTBALL’S A BITCH. NO ARGUMENT ABOUT THAT.

ELCHE PLAYED AS WELL AS THEY’VE PLAYED FOR MONTHS …. IN TERMS OF TACTICS, AGGRESSIVE MOVEMENTS WITH THE BALL, WINING DUELS, CHANCE CREATION….BUT THEY COULDN’T FINISH AND THEY WERE SNARLED OUT OF THEIR STRIDE BY A CHAMPION WHICH PRESSED AND MUGGED AND ROBBED AND RAIDED.

LET’S SNAP THROUGH A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS AFTER THIS FIVE GOAL SLAPPING

1) BARCELONA’S PRESSING - WITH FERMIN LOPEZ RIGHT AT THE BEATING, THROBBING HEART OF IT WAS OUTSTANDING. 100 MILE PER HOUR, HARD TO WITHSTAND…BUT HARD TO KEEP UP WEEK AFTER WEEK YOU’D GUESS. NEVERTHELESS, PRESSING IS A STATE OF MIND ALMOST AS MUCH AS A STATE OF FITNESS AND BARCELONA WERE, FOR THE MOST PART, LIKE HUNGRY DOGS

2) XAVI ESPART IS, BY TRADE, A RIGHT BACK, OR AN ORGANISING RIGHT MIDFIELDER …BUT HE WAS USED AT LEFT BACK BECAUSE, AS FLICK ANNOUNCED AFTERWARDS ‘BALDE AND I AGREED THAT HE’D A LOT ON HIS MIND RIGHT NOW SO IT WAS BEST FOR HIM TO STAY HOME AND NOT JOIN THIS TRIP’. LET’S SEE IF BALDE AND HIS AGENT SING THE SAME SONG …..BUT IT’S CLEAR THAT LEFT BACK SELLABLE. MIGHT STAY, MIGHT GO …BUT IF BARCA ARE GONNA BUY A BIG-MONEY STRIKER THEN THEIR ABILITY TO REGISTER HIM MIGHT DEPEND ON SELLING BALDE. ANYWAY, ESPART WAS TERRIFIC. A LITTLE BUNDLE OF HARRASSMENT FOR ELCHE AND QUICK IN PASS-MAKING DECISIONS. LOVELY NIGHT FOR THE KID

3) GAVI LOOKED, MOMENTARILY, LIKE HE WAS GONNA HAVE SUFFERED ANOTHER KILLER KNEE INJURY BUT, NOW, IT PROVES ONLY TO HAVE BEEN A BRUISE ON THE SAME KNEE WHICH KEPT HIM OUT FOR OVER A YEAR.

BUT THERE’S A DIFFERENT KIND OF ‘HERE WE GO AGAIN’ IN THIS INSTANCE!

I LIKE GAVI, WE GET ON WELL, WE CELEBRATED AND EMBRACED ON THE PITCH AT NEW YORK NEW JERSEY WHEN SPAIN WON THE WORLD CUP - HE TRUSTS ME. BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP ME WARNING HIM THAT HE’S GOT TO DEVELOP, GOT TO LEARN.

HE COMMITTED TWO BOOKABLE FOULS (FOR NEITHE ROF WHCIH HE WAS ACTUALLY BOOKED!) ON GONZALO VILLAR IN THE SPACE OF THREE MINUTES !!!!!….THE SECOND OF WHICH WAS A LUNGE, AND DID THE DAMAGE TO HIMSELF. BARCELONA HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THEY’VE A SCHEDULE FOR HIS RETURN TO TRAINING AND THAT IT’S NOT LIGAMENT DAMAGE. BUT…HE FEARED THAT, FLICK FEARED THAT, HIS TEAM MATES WERE CONCERNED. IT’S TIME FOR GAVI TO EDGE AWAY FROM ALL HIS FRUSTRATION BEING BUNDLED UP INTO DANGEROUS DECISIONS….WHILE STILL ALLOWING HIS NATURAL COMPETITIVE AGGRESSION TO REMAIN A BIG FEATURE OF HIS GAME

4) GOOD FINISH TO A TERRIFIC MOVE FROM ADEYEMI BUT LOTS OF HEADLESS CHICKEN RUNNING FROM THE GERMAN BEFORE HE WAS TAKEN OFF….LOTS OF POSSESSION LOSS TOO. ADMITTEDLY ANTHONY GORDON CAME INTO A BROKEN GAME BUT HIS CONNECTION WITH PEDRI AND FERMIN ALREADY LOOKS MUCH!! MORE ESTABLISHED AND ‘SAME WAVELENGTH’

SPEAKING OF WHICH, THE TWO MOMENTS OF THE MATCH INCLUDED LAMINE’S ‘CHOP’ PASS IN THE NO10 POSITION WHICH FOUND RAPHINHA TO SET UP THAT ADEYEMI GOAL ………….AND PEDRI’S INIESTA-ESQUE DUMMY, SWIVEL AND CHANGE OF DIRECTION TO LEAVE THE AFOREMENTIONED VILLAR FLOUNDRING WITH A ‘WHEREDHE GO????’ EXPRESSION BEFORE A BEAUTIFUL PASS INSIDE AFFENGRUBER FED GORDON WHO BENT HIS RUN TO STAY ONSIDE AND, DULY, SERVED UP A GOAL ON A PLATE FOR FERMIN.

VERY VERY GOOD STUFF.

6) ELCHE WILL PLAY MUCH, MUCH WORSE THAN THIS AND STILL WIN THIS SEASON. GOOD FOOTBALL BUT, AS COACHES LIKE TO SAY, DEFICIENT IN BOTH BOXES

GETAFE 1-0 RACING

ENES UNAL

IT’S A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT THAT I DEPLORE ALMOST EVERYTHING WHICH PEPE BORDALAS STANDS FOR ….BUT THAT DOESN’T PREVENT ME ACKNOWLEDGING HE’S A TERRIFIC COACH.

TO PLAY THE PREVIOUS TWO GAMES WITH TEN MEN FOR WELL OVER 70 MINUTES BUT STILL COMPETE AND WIN HERE IS IMPRESSIVE.

NOT AN IMPRESSIVE MATCH IN WHICH, IN MY OPINION, RACING ACTUALLY IMPROVED ONCE CANALES AND VILLALIBRE WENT OFF!

REMARKABLE THAT.

MAGUETTE GUEYE MADE A DIFFERENCE IN MIDFIELD FOR JOSE ALBERTO LOPEZ’S TEAM

BUT THEY FLUFFED A PENALTY (GETAFE’S BIG GEORGIAN DEFENDER, SAZONOV, IS HAVING A BUMPY WELCOME TO SPAIN) …………AND LOST THE POINTS FOUR MINUTES LATER AFTER A REALLY NICELY CONSTRUCTED GOAL WITH THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF AN UNSTOPPABLE ASSIST FROM ANDRES GARCIA FOR THE TURKISH STRIKER

GOOD LUCK IN BELGRADE GETAFE - THAT’LL BE A SPARKY NIGHT ALRIGHT.

BEST OF THE REST:

TIM JOLLY LEE WAS AT BETIS BEATING 1-0 REAL SOCIEDAD AND, JUST FOR YOUR INFORMATION, HE DISAGREES WITH ME THAT LA REAL ARE IN A PICKLE.

I THINK THE TXURI URDIN LOOK VERY VULNERABLE AND TOOTHLESS….HE THINKS THEY LOOKED STRONG AND JUST OVERLY RELIANT ON ORRI OSKARSSON WHO INCREASINGLY LOOKS A STREAKY, NON-TOP CLASS STRIKER.

GOLAZO FROM RIQUELME FOR ALL THREE POINTS AND…..WELCOME TO BETIS TROY PARROTT - HE’S REALLY GONNA ENJOY HIMSELF IN THIS TEAM

ATHLETIC 1-3 SEVILLA

OSO, EDJUKE, ISAAC ROMERO - AITOR PAREDES THE SCORERS

BUT TROY WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT ROBBIE URE IS SUFFERING RIGHT NOW.

THE SCOTSMAN CAUSED THE FIRST GOAL HERE BY PRESSING THE LIFE OUT OF UNAI SIMON SO THAT OSO COULD SCORE AND, AFTERWARDS, LUIS GARCIA ADMITTED THAT THE SCOT HAD DESCRIBED THE CLIMACTIC CONDITIONS IN TRAINING AS SOMETHING APPROACHING “MADNESS“.

SEARING HEAT IS THE DAILY BEAT WHEN IT’S LIFE IN SEVILLA BUT HE’S CAUSED TWO GOALS IN TWO GAMES NOW AND THIS WAS A SUPER AWAY WIN WITH A COUPLE OF CRACKING GOALS - AND A MADDENING YURI RED CARD WHICH, I’D SAY, WAS ONLY A YELLOW. HEY HO

HALLELUJAH FOR THE ROSALEDA. IT’S BACK, MALAGA LOOK LIKE A FUN WATCH. ONLY A POINT BUT ON THE SCORESHEET

- CHUPETE SCORED A PENALTY AND MISSED A SITTER FOR A BITTERSWEET NIGHT - ANOTHER LOVELY GOAL FROM AUBA - WHO FOLLOWED UP HIS BEAUTY LAST WEEK AGAINST ELCHE BY NICKING OFF IN HIS SPARE TIME TO PLAY A BOUNCE GAME WITH LOCAL AMATEURS IN A CORUÑA - NOT OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED, WILL HAVE GIVEN COACH HIDALGO NIGHTMARES - BUT LOVELY TO SEE.

STAND OUT PLAYERS ON THE NIGHT?

DANI LORENZO, 23 YEAR OLD MARBELLA BORN MIDFIELDER - CLASS ACT

AND 24 YEAR OLD MALAGA-BORN DAVID LARRUBIA WHO’S FIZZ AND BUZZ IN A BARREL. LOOKS LIKE A REFUGEE FROM TRAINSPOTTING BUT THERE’S A BIT OF BEGBIE ABOUT HIM AND A STRUT THAT ANY LOVER OF FOOTBALL WILL ADMIRE.

VALENCIA 0-0 - LIKE MANY OF BRITAIN’S POLITICIANS IN THE LATE 1970S THIS WAS DRY, CONSERVATIVE AND DULL.

NO GOAL EITHER WHEN OSASUNA HOSTED LEVANTE - ARE THEY GOING TO MISS CARLOS ESPÍ AND VICTOR MUÑOZ RESPECTIVELY????

YES THEY BLOODY WELL ARE.

WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT REAL MADRID AND ESPANYOL SUFFICIENTLY AND POOR OLD PHIL KITROMELIDES WAS AT BUTARQUE ON FRIDAY TO SEE RAYO WORK THEIR WAY TO A DRAW IN A STADIUM WHICH ISN’T THEIR OWN………WHICH SPENT MOST OF THE MATCH ABUSING THEIR DEEPLY UNLOVED PRESIDENT/OWNER………. AND TO WHICH RAYO WON’T BE RETURNING WHILE THEIR OWN STADIUM IS OUT OF COMMISSION BECAUSE LEGANES ARE, ACCORDING TO RAYO, CHARGING THEM TOO MUCH TO PLAY THERE.

NEXT RAYO HOME GAME IS IN BURGOS WHICH IS THIRTY OR SO MILES NEARER TO SANTANDER….RACING ARE THEIR NEXT ‘HOME’ RIVALS, THAN IT IS TO VALLECAS.

WELCOME TO ANOTHER SPANISH SEASON FOLKS.